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'Weeds' Recap: It's French for MILF

S7E11: Weeds is finally going for the jugular. It's been building up to this all season, and now it's finally happening. Nancy and Silas are officially enemies -- which means Nancy is screwed. So how did this giant mess fall upon the Botwin matriarch? Well, what went down wasn't as exciting as the promo promised it would be, but the episode serves a very important near end of season purpose: setting up a giant mess for the season's last two episodes.

"Your mouth starts configuring in that little smirk." -Silas

"You mean contorting?" -Nancy

When Silas comes to Nancy with the idea of merging their cartel with Emma's Pouncy House operation, Nancy immediately declines the suggestion but doesn't say why. Of course we know that's because she can't let Emma know what her plan is because it involves Detective Wallette busting her and her little Columbia University drug ring. Silas of course takes this as condescension and storms off to go hook up with Emma. He doesn't take her up on her job offer, he just wants her. And yet again, Silas is letting a girl dictate his life decisions. He never ceases to let a pretty pair of legs lead him right into trouble…every single season.

When Shane goes into work at the police station, he finds out that they're about to bust Pouncy House. Shane has no idea that Nancy set this all up with her little white lie about Shane trying to protect Silas from his weed-dealing girlfriend, but luckily Wallette's too dumb to notice that. There was something so satisfying about watching Wallette treat Emma so badly as he dragged her out of the sad little party store façade and she bragged about her scholarly accomplishments and belittled his blue collar roots. She's supremely awful, so of course Silas would be all about her. The only good girl he dated, he screwed over completely.

Shane sees an opportunity to rile Silas and tells him that Nancy got Emma busted and sent to jail. This is all hot-headed Silas needs to steal their database and head off to Pouncy House with the goods. When Nancy gets back from her little Hamptons trip (we'll get to that part) Silas finally waves his betrayal in her face and declares himself her competitor. She's really done this to herself, and we do feel a bit sorry for her even though it's difficult to find it in our hearts because she's so selfish, conceited, inconsiderate, and a deliberate repeat criminal.

"It's French for MILF." -Nancy

Doug enlists Andy to act as a fake investor at some country club in the Hamptons - they say Southampton, the sign says East Hampton - to get people to stupidly invest with his company and Nancy takes this as an opportunity to make the money she owes Demitri back in a flash. While she and Andy schmooze with club goers and invite them to the investor party, she overhears an pompous young playboy talking about buying $3500 bottles of wine and has an epiphany: she an sell the weed in pretty little boxes, say it's French and sell it for $500 a pop. Well, Nancy's never really been a model for honesty, or integrity, or living with any regard for the law so it's a wonder she didn't start this earlier.

Her plan works perfectly. By the end of the night, the weed is practically selling itself. Too bad the same can't be said for Doug's investing ventures. No one's buying because Bernie Madoff screwed everyone - Weeds, we get it, you're very relevant, now stick to your plot and stop trying to be so damn obvious about the real-life similarities. Nancy has another epiphany: she could be Doug's company's investment because they're already breaking the law anyway, but they say they need cashflow. Enter the playboy who spends his money irresponsibly and inspired her whole "seriously gourmet shit" campaign. She tries to get Andy to help her convince the guy to invest, but Andy is wasted off of free Long Island Iced Teas.

This descends suddenly into a discussion about how Nancy treats him badly, lets him continue to be obsessed with her even though she's heartless and a complete bitch -- his terms, not mine. Then he gets grabby in an effort to seize the day like his Hamptons-going, investor alter ego and he finally agrees to help her before throwing up on the playboy with the oversized checking account. Well, that didn't help anything. I feel pain for Andy and by now, I just want him to get a little of what he wants - not to mention the fact that I can't understand why Nancy doesn't like him since we got over the whole he's-her-ex-brother-in-law things way back in like Season 3.

Look, Nancy will always be our Nancy, but even the most hardcore Weeds fans must admit that she's become a little bit ridiculous. It's hard to even root for her anymore - and not in a deep, dark Bryan Cranston on Breaking Bad sort of way where a character is so deep and complicated that we can't figure him or her out, but in a silly, knock-it-off-Nancy sort of way. Andy is right to say those terrible things about her; they're true. She screws over her son's girlfriend without even warning her son. She drags Andy around like a little puppy, but won't even let the guy fulfill her romantically - though he provides every other form of support and wants to be with her. Sympathy is a little thin when she's really created these issues on her own. She's been through hell and back again since she started dealing, yet every chance she gets, she gets right back into the fire. She's a danger junkie and it's not fair to her family - and honestly, it's gone from cute to obnoxious.

Perhaps Silas' betrayal will force her to learn (probably not) or maybe Andy's drunken rant will finally show her how terrible she's being to him (probably not). We may not know what's about to happen in exact terms, but what we do know is that there are only two episodes left which means things are about to get crazy.

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