David Letterman knows how to get on Betty White's good side: break out the photos from her youth over some perfectly chilled Grey Goose. I think it was all going pretty well until he said she reminded him of his mother. (Note to dudes: never tell a lady she reminds you of your mom.)
Ashton Kutcher swears he knew the Chicago Bears (DAH BEARS) were going to make the playoffs this year because Brian Urlacher told him so. He also tells Jay about partying on a James Bond villain boat and dancing with George Lucas. Ah, the trials of being famous for being so damn pretty.
Aubrey Plaza puts the moves on Jay Leno and explains how she became King of the Elves and turned her little sister evil. I'm pretty sure that on some level she IS her character from Parks and Recreation in real life, which means she's awesome.
Jimmy Fallon takes MySpace down another few pegs (from rock bottom to the fossilized dinosaur bones underneath it) because clearly being the most desperate forgotten social networking site wasn't bad enough. Oh yeah, and he tells us a little bit about the new American Idol.
Randy Jackson shows Jimmy Kimmel what a manly bedazzled jacket looks like.