Drew Barrymore was on David Letterman last night to promote her new movie, Going the Distance, but instead, she talked about the conversation she always has when she gets a new dog: she tells him to be cool, and relax, because they're going to do everything together and she'll take care of him. David, however, showed us proof of how the conversation he tried having with his dog didn't go as successfully.
Jon Stewart talked about Laura Schlessinger's apt decision to call a person who wanted advice from her the n-word. In case you want to hear exactly what she said to this woman (who was probably sitting at home, messing up her knitting job because she was so distraught over the way her white husband and his friends made fun of her skin color), it's in the clip below...along with how it's connected to Palin.
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And if you're thinking of coming to New York, don't sit anywhere because you might get bed bugs. I mean it -- these bitches be in every Tom, Dick and Harry's house. In addition to the Empire State Building, they've been spotted in the Hollister store in SoHo, lots of movie theaters, and every where else, too. Just spend your touristy time standing up, walking around, and enjoying the many cupcake trucks we have roaming around.
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And Stephen Colbert told you how to get a job if you currently don't have one: STOP POSTING CRAP ON FACEBOOK.
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