I wanted to do an Elvis and shoot a 357 Magnum through the television screen last night when a madcap Chicago reporter was making light of the invasion of Asian Carp into the Great Lakes.  Apparently, Chicago (you know, where they won't close the channel) chefs are planning ahead for ways to make this garbage fish palatable.

You know what they're going to call it?  LOCKWOOD SHANGHAI BASS.  You heard me: LOCKWOOD SHANGHAI BASS.  They think that will look better on a menu than carp. "Perhaps you'd like to start with some delightful Zebra Mussels as an appetizer, Monsieur?"

All the taste-testers were raving about its carpilicious flavor.  I don't CARE.  Keep your invasive species to yourselves.